Bad Pancake Painting

I’ve discovered a bit of hurdle in my want to start a new painting, post-diagnosis. I’ve put some undue pressure on being my most authentic self, considering how much I masked even in my art before the diagnosis.

Also, though, it’s because this painting is gonna be a “bad pancake.” The first pancake in a batch is always just a bit wonky, you know? So the first painting in this new style is gonna be the worst painting most likely- so I don’t want to waste a good idea on it. Know what I mean?

Here are the things I want to paint. By the end of this post, I am gonna choose my least favorite (they’re all good ideas) and just take a whack at it.

-neurodiverse abstract brain illustration- like a cutting for a slide, but…you know, pretty

-normalizing sensory accommodations self portrait- headphones and tinted glasses

-Tribute to Hannah Gadsby

-Tribute to Kenneth French

-A mish-mash of science fiction references that will drive nerds absolutely crazy.

(I stole this idea from one of my favorite illustrative artists, Joey Cho. I have the “Spock riding a raptor with Loki’s scepter on Dagobah” in my son’s bedroom. And I also have a print of the “The Three Little Pigs”. They remind me so much of Mary Blair, that I thought Joey was a chick for the longest time. I am not exaggerating when I say to you that I WANT ALL OF HIS WORK. ALL OF IT. I just want to swim in it.)

-Tribute to my grandmother

-Tribute to both my mother and father (Maybe a portrait?)

-portrait of my son or still life of some of his toys. (Normalizing sorting and lining up instead of ONLY functional play as well.)

-kaleidoscope/mandala of patterns and color- pretty but not necessarily personal

– floral still life with a more futurist geometric tilt like Jess Franks or Franz Marc

-pure abstract with cruciform composition or L-shaped composition

-a literal pancake

You know, I am still not sure… The literal pancake seems a little too tongue and cheek, even for me. Plus, I know it shouldn’t matter, but as a gluten free person I don’t want to torture myself with reference images of pancakes. Just thinking about it is making me hungry for maple syrup.

It will probably be a mandala or something pure abstract…

Either way, it’s time to get started. I will photograph the results to show you here, bad pancake or not.


The image is from some sketches I have been doing before I jump onto the canvas. This one is a self portrait with headphones. As I told Instagram, I don’t know why I keep doing self portraits. It’s not my thing, and not my most natural talent, probably why I keep trying to prove that I can do it.

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